


I Would Wait Forever

by Pineprin137



Series: Mated [2]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alpha Jared Padalecki, Alpha/Omega, Anxiety, Established Relationship, M/M, Omega Jensen Ackles, Panic Attacks, Past Character Death, Public Masturbation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-11-26 10:16:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20928587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pineprin137/pseuds/Pineprin137
Summary: Date night doesn't go exactly as Jensen planned or Jared hoped.





	I Would Wait Forever

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place almost a year after Jensen's accident. They've been going on coffee dates and meeting for lunch but never had an evening out together.

Jensen checks his watch for the tenth time... still an hour and a half to go. He can’t remember ever being this nervous for a date. He’s been obsessively checking his appearance every time he passes the mirror in the hallway. Which explains the pile of discarded clothing on his bedroom floor. The hunter green shirt underneath his charcoal blazer is the fifteenth option he’s tried. He just can’t seem to decide. He doesn’t want to be too casual, and he _definitely_ doesn’t want to overdo it. 

He turns his head and smoothes his hand over the light stubble on his jaw. _ Maybe I should shave… _ He’d added a little gel in his hair when it refused to cooperate but now he thinks it seems stiff? 

“Argh! This is why I hate dating. Too many options and too many unknowns.” 

Jensen collapses on the bed and flops back into another pile of nos. He sighs heavily and crosses his arms over his head, blocking out the mess. He should’ve accepted his sister’s offer to help him get ready but Jensen had assumed he could handle picking out an outfit for a date. He’s done it before. _ Hell, before the accident, I used to be out with someone new every weekend. _He shakes his head and groans, “Don’t go there, Ackles.” 

Jensen gets up and walks over to the mirror. He sighs heavily and then leans forward to check his teeth are still clean. _ Yup, nice and white. _He almost runs his hand through his hair in a nervous gesture but stops just in time. He rolls his shoulders and grimaces. 

“Dammit!” He growls and tugs his blazer off before flinging yet another shirt onto the ever-growing pile. 

He’s busy searching through what’s left of his closet when the doorbell rings. 

“Shit!” 

Jensen hastily snatches a grey t-shirt off of a hanger and wrestles into his jacket while rushing down the hall. His socks slide on the wooden floor and he almost upends the table near the entryway. _ Fuckin’ hell, Jensen! Pull yourself together, you spaz! _

There’s a knock on the door and he hears Jared calling out. He grabs his sneakers and jams his feet into them hopping around on one foot and banging the small of his back on the closet doorknob. “OW!” 

“Jensen?! Are you alright?” Jared asks through the door. 

Jensen winces and breathes slowly until the pain eases, “Yup! I’m good… ” One last glance in the mirror reveals a red face, teary green eyes, and his hair sticking up. He groans, shoves his fingers through the unruly mop and then opens the door, “Hi!” 

Jared looks a little concerned, though he covers it up with a smile, “Hi. You alright? You look a little flushed.” 

“Oh, yeah, I’m-- I’m good. Just had to grab…something… ” Jensen barely manages not to face-palm himself and turns to lock the door. _ Oh, shit. Keys. They’re on the table… _ “You mind waiting at the car? Turns out, I _ did _ forget something.” 

Jared gives him an odd look then nods and walks back towards a sensible-looking grey four-door sedan. Jensen sighs and races back inside to snatch his keys and his wallet then trips going down the two steps and stumbles into Jared, now holding the passenger side door open for him. 

“Woah, you alright?” Jared chuckles and leans down so he can look into Jensen’s sparkling green eyes. The man seems… nervous, which is strange considering they’ve been unofficially dating for almost three months. 

Jensen rubs the back of his neck, “No. I mean, yes! I’m okay, just… tripped.” _ Ugh, idiot, shut up! _

Jared doesn’t look convinced, “You sure you’re okay, babe?” 

Jensen smiles at him, “I’m okay. I promise.” He kisses Jared’s cheek and moves to get in the car. Jared frowns then shakes his head and gets in on the other side. 

As they head to the restaurant, Jensen traps one of Jared’s hands in his lap. He fidgets the entire drive and keeps getting distracted. Jared finally gives up on having a conversation and settles for listening to the radio. 

About a block away from the restaurant, a minivan pulls out suddenly and Jared has to swerve. Jensen’s heart jumps into his throat. Jared curses and eases the car over to the curb. He smells the tangy mix of fear and anxiety coming from the passenger seat and turns towards Jensen. 

“Babe? You okay?” 

Jensen shakes his head slowly, as if in a trance and grips the door handle in a death grip, “I need to get out.”

“Um, okay.”

Jared watches as Jensen carefully stands and then leans forward with his hands on his knees. 

He hops out of the car and rushes to Jensen’s side, “Jen! What’s wrong? Are you hurt? What is it?” 

Jensen tries to focus on breathing. That’s what the therapist told him to do. 

_ Just focus on your breaths. One in, one out. Nice and slow, Jensen. Don’t rush it. It’s okay to take a moment. _

_ I… can’t… _

_ Yes, you can. Deep breath in. C’ mon, Jensen. Breathe in with me. _

_ I c-can hear the… oh, god… Josh… _

_ Feel my hand? That’s real. The sound of my voice? Real. You’re not in the car, Jensen. You’re here, in my office. _

Jared grips Jensen’s arm tightly and tries to get his attention, “Jen? Babe? Can you hear me?” He rapidly rubs his hand up and down Jensen’s back and looks around, searching for… _ hell! I don’t know what I’m looking for! What am I supposed to be doing right now?! _

Jensen’s hand latches onto Jared’s jacket. 

_ Shit, doc, that was awful! The hell am I supposed to do when that happens? _

_ The key is to try and regain control of the attack. Your panic attacks are triggered by a sense of overwhelming chaos. Instead of trying to completely rid yourself of the ‘mess’, you need to focus on one aspect of it. _

_ You’re saying I need to find a focal point? Isn’t that the thing they tell chicks in labor to focus on? _

_ Yes, it is. It works in this situation too. Instead of getting lost in the pain and fear, you choose one sense and put all of your concentration on it. _

_ One sense? What do you mean? _

_ One of the five senses: Touch, Taste, Smell, Sound, or Sight. Choose an object you can touch or something you can hear. You could focus on the wind on your face or even a strong scent. Pick one and focus on it. _

_ Okay, and what is that supposed to do? _

_ It’s like hitting a restart button in your brain. It allows your body a few moments to collect itself while you are occupying your mind with something else. For instance, if you’re in the middle of a traffic jam and the sounds are too much, I suggest gripping the steering wheel or rubbing your hand on a piece of clothing. Not only will your focus shift from the chaos, but the repetitive motion will also help calm you. _

Jensen rubs the leather against his fingers, “S-slick… c-cold… sm-ooth…” he transfers his hand from the jacket onto the shirt beneath, “… soft…cotton,” and finally settles his fingers on Jared’s bare skin, “Warm.” He opens his eyes and meets Jared’s panicked stare. 

“Jensen?” 

“I’m okay. Really.” He smiles sadly and rests his head on the alpha’s chest. It feels nice to have someone to lean on. 

“Jensen… what the hell was that? You scared the hell out of me, babe.” 

“I know, I’m sorry…” Jensen says as he turns away. 

Jared reaches out and lays a hand on the other man’s shoulder, “Jen, what just happened? What was that?”

“It was a panic attack.” 

“A panic attack? Jesus. That was… Does that happen a lot?” 

Irrational Irritation washes over Jensen at having to explain it to someone else, “_ What? _ You mean you didn’t notice the twenty other times it happened while we were together?” 

Jared’s eyes widen and his mouth gapes, “Shit. Jen. I didn’t… I’m so sorry.” 

Incredulous, Jensen barks a laugh, “Seriously, Jared?” 

Visibly flustered, the alpha stammers, “I’ve never… been around someone when they… I mean, I don’t remember seeing you do _ that _\-- ”

Jensen crosses his arms and arches an eyebrow, “You_ honestly_ thought that it happens a lot even though you’ve _never _seen me have one before and we’ve been dating for _three months? _ Jesus... No! It doesn’t happen often. Only very rarely and only when I’m around cars. It’s not that big of a deal.” Feeling embarrassed, he pulls away when Jared tries to touch him, “Can we please just go?” 

Taken aback by the omega’s sudden attitude, Jared just nods and they get back in. 

\---

The waiter has just walked away after delivering their entrees when Jensen finally decides to lay it all out on the table. He sets his knife and fork on his plate and then rests his hands on the tabletop. 

“My brother died. In a car wreck. I was driving.” Afraid to deter Jensen from continuing, Jared stays quiet and listens. 

“My team had just won a spot in the World Series so my brother Josh and I went out to celebrate. We’d both been drinking but I hadn’t had as much as him so I was driving. My new car, of course. I’d been talking about it for weeks and Josh wanted to see how fast it could really go… so I punched it.” Jared reaches across the table and covers one of the omega’s shaking hands with his. 

“Some idiot pulled out and there was no time. We were doing about ninety and when I clipped him… I lost control and we started spinning. When I finally got it back, we were in the wrong lane. There was a delivery truck… and we hit him head-on. The cops estimated we were going about sixty when we drove into him.” He pauses to take a sip from his water glass, “I was in a coma for about three weeks, and Josh… he, uh, he didn’t make it.” 

Jared moves around the table and wraps Jensen in his arms. He rests his chin on the omega’s head and whispers, “I’m so sorry, Jen.” 

“Me too. When I woke up in the hospital, it took a while. But when I remembered…_ I killed my brother _.” 

“No, you didn’t. That idiot who pulled out did. It wasn’t your fault.” 

“Jared. Please. We were doing ninety in a forty. We were both buzzed. We shouldn’t have been in that car. I shouldn’t have been driving.” Silently agreeing to disagree, Jared scoots back in front of his plate and takes a sip of his wine. He’s noticed that Jensen never orders a drink when they go out and now it makes sense why.

Deciding to get their date night back on track, Jared gestures to the waiter and asks for the dessert menu. Jensen instantly perks up a little and smiles when Jared hands it to him. If there’s one thing that Jared has figured out in the last few months, it’s that no matter what kind of mood Jensen is in, sweets usually help, especially chocolate. 

Jensen trails his finger down the glossy pictures and his mouth waters, “Oh my god… that looks amazing. Ooh, and _that_? Yes, please.” 

The omega licks his lips as he reads over the twelve different dessert options and Jared feels his jeans get a little snugger in the groin region. He’s been trying to hold out until Jensen is ready, but tonight may just push Jared over the edge. It’s hard enough to resist the sexy omega when he’s just sitting there looking perfect let alone when he’s moaning while wrapping his lips around the spoon. Jensen closes his eyes and sighs in chocolate overload bliss. Jared swallows and adjusts subtly in his seat, knowing if the other man continues to do that, Jared is going to need to excuse himself. 

“This is_ divine_, Jay. Wanna bite?” Jensen asks and offers Jared the next spoonful. 

He declines with a shake of his head and a tight smile, “No. You go ahead, babe.” 

Jared watches each bite disappear between Jensen's soft, supple lips. Each swallow punctuated with an inappropriate moan and a swipe of his talented tongue over his bottom lip. Jared drops his hand into his lap and clenches the fabric of jeans so tight it makes his hand ache. He believes he can make it, just a few bites to go and then they can leave. He’ll think of some excuse to roll the windows down so he can drown out Jensen’s tantalizing scent and let the night air cool him down. 

“Mmmm. This might just be my new favorite…” Jensen drags his finger through the remaining smear of chocolate on his plate and then brings it to his mouth. Jared’s heart rate spikes as he tracks the movement. When the omega’s tongue licks up the digit before sucking the mousse off, Jared feels precome dampen his underwear. 

“Excuse me, I think I’m going to head to the restroom.” 

As soon as Jared stands, Jensen looks up from his plate, “You alright?” 

Jared carefully holds the cloth napkin in front of his groin, trying to avoid embarrassment, “Yeah. I’ll be right back.” 

Jensen turns his head toward the approaching waiter and Jared makes a break for it. He weaves his way through the crowded dining room, trying to ignore the friction every time he takes a step. He finally makes it to the men’s room and walks into the large stall on the end. It’s a little uncomfortable having to do this in public, but if he doesn’t take care of things here, the car ride is going to be unbearable, not to mention the goodnight kiss he’s hoping for. 

Jared quickly locks the door and then crosses to stand in front of the toilet. Clean up will be faster this way. Jared grits his teeth as he carefully lowers the zipper and then slides his jeans and underwear down to mid-thigh. His cock is fully erect already and glistening in the dim light of the bathroom. He stills and listens for a few moments to assure himself that he is alone and then curls his fist around his shaft. The friction from his dry hand is almost too much so he lowers his head and lets a string of saliva dribble down. With the makeshift lubricant, it only takes a few minutes before he’s biting his lip and aiming his dick at the toilet bowl. 

Once he’s finished, he quickly pees and washes his hands before heading back to the table. Jensen has his jacket on and is leaning back in his seat, a satisfied smile on his face and a gentle hand resting on his full belly. Jared stands behind the chair and places his hands on the omega’s shoulders. 

Jared gives a light squeeze and kneads the tense muscles, “Ready to go?” 

“Mmm, yeah.” 

Jared helps Jensen out of his seat and leads him to the door with a hand resting on the small of his back. It’s tempting to drift a little lower and cup his delectable bottom in one large hand, but after getting off in the restroom, he’s able to resist. 

They walk out to the car hand-in-hand, enjoying the pleasant night air. It became dark while they were inside and now the sky is filled with barely visible stars. Outside of the city limits, it is clearer but here in the middle of town, there is too much light pollution. They don’t mind too much, enjoying the feel of each other’s hand and the sound of the other’s breath. By the car, they stop to kiss, slow and sweet before climbing in. 

Jensen slides his key into the lock and the click seems twenty times louder when it turns. Jared hovers on the top step, not wanting to crowd Jensen but kind of hoping to get invited in. In the few months they’ve been seeing each other, the alpha has only been in Jensen’s house three times. Never at night. 

“I had a really good time tonight, Jare. Thank you for dinner.” 

“Of course, babe. You’ve been so busy at the center that I thought we could both use a night out.” Jared leans forward and brushes a few unruly tendrils off of the omega’s temple. 

Jensen blushes and fiddles with his keys, scuffs his shoe on the mat, “Yeah…”

Jared steps in front of him and grabs his hands, “Jen, I-- thank you for telling me about the crash, your brother. You didn’t have to and I know it was hard for you.” He uses his finger to nudge the other man’s chin up, “It means a lot. Knowing that you trust me enough to… share that.” 

The omega moves closer lifting up so he can reach Jared’s lips. They kiss softly before Jensen pulls away. He rests his head on the alpha’s and whispers, “I know you want you to come in… but I’m just not ready yet.” 

Jared sighs, feeling a little disappointed, “It’s okay, babe. There’s no rush. I can wait. I want you to be comfortable and if you aren’t yet, that’s okay.” 

“Thanks,” Jensen kisses him one last time before walking to the door. He turns the knob and opens it but doesn’t step through. “Hey, Jare?” 

Jared pauses on his way down the steps, “Yeah?” 

Jensen smiles and bites his lip, “I missed you too.”


End file.
